For Willa
by serenitymeimei
Summary: Did they or didn't they? That is the question... Post 1x14 in Somalia.


**Disclaimer:** If FlashForward was mine, Janis have a larger part in the show and carry a gun around 90% of the time (even if there weren't any criminals around) cus it's super hot!

**A/N:** I have a thing for odd pairings and this one seems to have really struck a chord with me. I'm totally in love with their friendship!

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Janis Hawk has known she was gay since she was five years old.

Now one might think that five is a little early to know such a thing, but honestly it's much less complicated in a child's world. When you're that young if you want something you simply take it- or in her case pull your best friend's pigtails, kiss her on the playground and then spend the next two hours in the principal's office when she runs away screaming and tattles on you...but none of that mattered back then, she'd been absolutely smitten.

So you can imagine her surprise when she found herself lounging on a dirty mattress in the middle of Somalia with her very _male_ partner twenty seven years later, actually letting herself consider his offer to sleep with her solely for the purpose of conceiving a baby. Crazy right?

She felt her pulse quicken and her stomach drop, grin fading as she quickly realized that he wasn't joking, "Are you serious?"

"Mhm."

He didn't even hesitate, just sat there at the end of the bed drinking his rum, like he offered up his sperm to baby-crazy lesbians all the time. She felt her jaw drop open and her brow furrow in disbelief.

"You're serious," Janis whispered.

It wasn't a question, simply a statement.

Demetri nodded, his sad eyes not leaving hers, the silence stretching out between them saying more than a thousand words ever could. It was at that moment that she finally understood just how much not having a flashforward was affecting him- how desperately he was trying to cling to life, even if he believed that he was already as good as buried and gone. She should have known, should've asked him how he was handling it, _if _he was handling it at all. But she'd been so wrapped up in her own drama, she hadn't even noticed how lost he was. God, she was such a horrible friend.

"Please tell me that you're not just doing this because you feel some sort of odd sense of obligation toward me?" her voice wavered, "Because I don't think I could handle it if that's the only reason... I mean- I'd be helping you cheat on Zoey, for Christ's sake! I've always said I'd never be the other woman, never get in the middle of a relationship. I don't know if I can live with that, Dem! Can you?"

"I won't have to."

"You don't know that," she argued, she couldn't...no _wouldn't_ believe that this was his death sentence, "your future could change! _We_ could change it! You could go on to live a full and healthy life. It's happened before, you know that!"

He sighed and finished off the rest of his drink, grabbing her cup as he slid toward her and tossed them both next to the fire, "Look, even _if_ my future changes- and that's a big if- I will _gladly_ live with the consequences if this works. I wouldn't be doing this because I feel that I _have _to, I'd be doing it because I _want_ to."

Janis' lower lip trembled, "But-"

"No," he took her hands in his, soft palms against her own, fingers tangled together, "Do you know what I did earlier, right before Abdi was about to kill us all and you jumped in and saved the day?"

She shook her head.

"I prayed. I asked God to help us live through this, to find a way out, to give us a sign. And do you know why? Because that little girl deserves a chance to live, _Willa_ deserves a chance. You're my partner Janis, my best friend. I know how important she is to you...how devastated you'd be if she was never born.

Look, there's not much that I can do to save my own life. I've accepted it," his voice broke, "But there _is_ something I can do to save hers. So don't you dare think that I could ever regret that- no matter what. Zoey included."

That's all it took, the last push that toppled her scales, the probability that it would be her happiness at the price of his. Her throat tightened, lashes fluttering shut as the tears began to flow. She felt a hand cup her cheek, his thumb wiping away the evidence of her grief as gently as he could. It made her heart ache and a soft sob bubble up from within her. She didn't want to lose him _or_ Willa.

"Come here," he urged, tugging her into the safety of his arms. Holding her as she cried into the crook of his neck nearly to the point of exhaustion, clinging to the dirty linen shirt he wore.

She never imagined that he could be so selfless.

"So," she mumbled, trying to break the tension, "you're really not doing this just to _'take one for the team' _right?"

Demetri's arms tightened around her, leaning back just enough to meet her eyes as he chuckled and a boyish smirk emerged, "Well, there is that..."

Janis punched him in the chest, not able to resist returning his smile.

"So, should I take that as a yes?" he asked, hope written all over his face.

She sighed. This was it, she had to decide.

"On one condition..."

"Anything."

"If we end up changing your flashforward-" she felt his body tense and quickly pressed two fingers over his mouth before he could protest, "let me finish... If we can find some way to save you too- and we _will_- I want you to be a part of her life. Whether you decide to tell Zoey about her and be her father or if you just want to be crazy Uncle Dem. I don't care, I want her to know you."

He seemed truly touched by her request, watching her with a watery smile as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Is that all?"

She nodded, feeling a bit foolish and self conscious about the whole situation to begin with, and then...well that's when his gaze lowered to her lips. Her eyes widened, having just enough time to process what was happening when he swooped in, kissing her firmly. Janis gasped, torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. She resisted, choosing to just let it happen. Silencing that little, heterophobic voice inside of her as she hesitantly opened her mouth and met his tongue with her own in a brief and surprisingly... not-all-that-unpleasant duel.

When the kiss broke Janis rested her forehead against his, laughing nervously at the absurdity of it all, "Well, that wasn't _quite_ as bad as I thought it would be."

"Oh, come on!" he grinned, "I'm gonna have you _so_ gay by the end of this..."

"Shut up!" she gasped, whacking him again for good measure, "Now hurry up, before I come to my senses and change my mind."

"Aye aye, Cap'n!"

Janis rolled her eyes, silently thanking him for trying to make this less awkward for the both of them, and allowed him to push her back onto the bed, hovering over her, his mouth just barely touching hers. Her heart was in her throat, hands shaking as she brought them up and rested them on his shoulders. This is so not how she pictured this happening...

"Wait," he stopped, making her snap her hands away like she'd burnt herself on his skin, "are you gonna be picturing Angelina while this is going down? 'Cause if so, that's _hot_!"

"Ugh!"

**End.**


End file.
